How to Talk to Girls: Chapter One

Snippets from the 9-year-old love doctor*:
(courtesy of my B-F-F)

Chapter one: The facts of life

Sometimes, you get a girl to like you, then she ditches you.

Life is hard, move on!

Tip: About 73 percent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 percent of pretty girls ditch boys.


You also have to be aware that girls win most of the arguments and have most of the power.
If you know that now, things might be easier.

Finally, if you try for too many girls, you will have jealousy
issues and might end up with nobody.
It is really best to go for just one.


If you do get a girl to like you, that is victory.
Winning victory is a dream for most boys, but it is very rare.

What does it take to win victory?

Read on and find out!


Many boys who have crushes don’t know how to act around a girl. Some boys tease girls they like and are mean to them. Some boys say silly things to girls and act goofy. Some boys think they are acting cool by showing off.

This is not a good approach.


The right thing to do when you have a crush is:
  • -Never show off too much
  • -Don't be silly and goofy
  • -Control your hyperness (cut down on sugar if you need to)
  • -Make sure you have good friends who won't try to take the girl you like.

    Finally, you have to be able to get over a crush if it doesn't work out. A crush is like a love disease. It can drive you mad.

    Try not to let it get you down.



    I Dream of Scotland said...

    Hilarious. And true. Thank you for commenting on my books post. No one else has. Apparently you are the only cultured individual reading my blog. I always knew you were. I shall have to invest in the authors you suggested.

    We will have to have a literary discussion sometime in the near future.

    rachel rianne said...

    hahahah SO cute.

    i sent the link to mr payne.