9.29.2009

Unsettled.

I'm twirling in white dresses,
Dreaming of cakes and candles and pretty things
then --poof!--

It's lunchtime and it's real time and
that man is wearing handcuffs outside my office window.

I watch him.
He pops his gum, shrugs, shuffles slowly out...
I press my lips together, knuckles white, and shudder.

Quietly, in the furthest corner of my mind,
I cry quickly, desperately, pleadingly
"We are not the same!"

But what I cannot shake,
Is that still, small whisper saying
Mister, you and I, we are not so very different.

9.26.2009

The Story of Us:


Happy one year...

(and my apologies to those of you who are now throwing up in your mouths a little bit)...

T-g-i-WEEKEND!

9.16.2009

Heartbreak.

"Miss," he said one early Tuesday morning.

"...Excuse me, miss, can I ask you a question?"

I hesitated, half-awake and in no mood for games.

"Um, sure," I replied as I slowly moved toward him, nervously twisting my ring.

"I just kinda want your opinion," he continued.

"Oh. Well...okay." I folded my arms self-consciously.

"It's like this, see," he said. "I...uhhh...well, I've been thinking lately...about going to school?"

"That's awesome!" I replied, relieved, arms falling by my side.

"Yeah, I mean, it's just, well, I gotta pay the bills, you know? So, I just can't go full-time. And I--well, I just don't know how to do that. How to make it work. Seems like college just isn't made for regular people these days," he said.

"Yeah, it is tough for sure," I said sympathetically, leaning in.

"Yeah. And, well, lately, I mean, I've thought a lot about pharmacy..."

He spoke quickly now, apologetically, eyes darting.

"...how I'd like to do that, I think, and I don't know...I mean, I think maybe I could be good at it?"

"Oh yeah? Cool!" I smiled.

"Yeah. And I guess I was just wondering--"

His eyes pierced mine.

"--do you think I am shooting too high?"

9.11.2009

Today's gonna be a good day.

Okay, so I know I've been a blogging FOOL lately, but something my friend Steph said got me curious...

How would you describe our generation?

(Perhaps this question is too narcissistic? Or maybe perfectly postmodern enough to be trendy and appealing? ...I'm not even sure what that means.)

Annnnnyway, I really would love to know what you think.

Moving on...don't know how you feel about these people or this person-slash-corporation-unto-herself or even these in general, buuuut can we talk about the crazy season kick-off yesterday? And how freaking JEALOUS I am?! And obviously how freaking jealous this guy must be?!

SO. JEALOUS.

Luckily, this little thing called the In-ter-net has made living vicariously oh-so-much-easier, so please enjoy:



Finally, if you need me this weekend, you can find me here or here as I meet with this guy along with this guy about this thing...then naturally, attending one of these as one of these rocking this decade.

So, like, totally enjoy your weekend everyone.

9.10.2009

Everything is terrible.

Just kidding. Everything is not terrible. That would be far too dramatic. And if there is one thing I am not, it is...

Well, anyway, that isn't the point.

The point is, they are now making DARK CHOCOLATE REESE'S MINIATURES, so obviously there is reason to rejoice.

However, some pretty terrible things to note:

First, kind-of-hilariously-terrible-if-you-ignore-the-blatant-politically-incorrect-references-about-which-I-do-not-condone:

HERE'S HOW! from Everything Is Terrible on Vimeo.


Also, the not-so-hilarious-but-most-certainly-terrible-fact that I come back from being sick for two days and get an email that simply reads:

Subject: Re: Bat in library
I just caught the bat and it lived.

Which followed the first email that read:

Subject: Bat in library
There was a bat flying around the library last night. I called Facilities to come catch it. By the time they came we had lost track of the bat. They searched for awhile but could not find it any where. We did prop the door open to the atrium so it might have flown out there but we are unsure. Just beware it still might be flying around!

Okay...I admit that I go way overboard on Office references...BUT STILL.

A bat?! In my OFFICE?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

But Sara, some of you are surely thinking, isn't it better the bat was caught when you were gone?

Well sure, dear friends, but let me remind you that regardless of its current whereabouts, this screeching, squeaking, furry, flitty, devil of an animal was, at some point, IN.THIS.VERY.BUILDING.WITH.MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (cue dramatic shudder)

As I opened in the wee hours of the morning... As I tiptoed around desolate corners of the library... As the lights flickered, as I yawned, as I brewed the first cup of coffee...

THAT LIVING, BREATHING THING WAS HERE.

Which, in my humble BAT-HATING opinion, is cause for a TOTAL FREAKOUT in my book. Ace-style:




And finally, a real-life-terrible-report that stems from a phone call I had with the chirpy representative from my credit card of five years, First Financial:

Who told me that yes, they sure were going to raise my rates.

Even though I had not a SPOT on my record and have been a model card-holder who pays off her entire balance on time, every time.

For five years.

And why yes, it is within my right to revoke this change but by doing so, I am simultaneously choosing to close my account as soon as my card expires.

And that it is my choice (sweetly said), but these days, credit cards sure can be hard to come by and she sure would hate to see my credit score suffer, but wait one moment, and she'll see if there's anything else she can do for me...

(pause)

...No, sorry. That is really all she can do. The choice is mine.

Oh, and as always,
thankyouforcalling/wesurevalueyourbusiness/andhaveagreatday/comeagain!

And I know it isn't your fault--that you are the middle (wo)man and just doing your job and I really should have been nicer to you...but it's just I really need to tell Uncle Sam that things are a bit too ridiculous these days. And it's wearing me out.

But wouldn't you know it? His line is always busy.

9.09.2009

Meet Steph.

Because I miss my journalism days and the stories just a few questions can uncover...
Because I know really freaking cool people and want you to know them, too...
And because I think we can all learn from each other, if we will only take the time...

Meet my B-F-F, Steph.

Faves:
Beverage: adult beverage = red wine. Of almost any variety. Happy hour fave = diet coke easy ice with a splash of vanilla.

Time of day: I am, obnoxiously, a MAJOR morning person. I have been glared at many a time at the breakfast table due to the extent of my bright eyes..and bushy tail? Or whatever.

Thing to do on a lazy Sunday afternoon: Hmmmm….sit in the park on a blanket, underneath whatever tree is my favorite in that particular park…preferably with a friend, preferably with a book that may or may not get read. I also love our big family style community dinners my friends and I have adopted on most Sunday evenings.

You recently graduated (cue the Wabash!) and moved to Oklahoma for more school and to pursue a career in dietetics. What is the number one thing you wish the average American would change about their health habits?
Ooooo good one! I think this answer changes depending on what’s on my mind most at the time. However, my underlying and most constant request is that people just keep challenging themselves. This is true for most any arena in our lives whether it be spiritually, intellectually, etc. My hope is that this will also be true physically and nutritionally. Step back, evaluate what habits you may have fallen into, and pick one to improve upon. Too much saturated/trans/overall fat? Too little activity? Too many sweets? Not enough water? By all means…practice moderation and allow yourself some freedoms. But continue to push yourself and find new areas you can improve upon your health.

How annoying is it to have everyone ask you about healthy living all the time?
Depends. Am I shoving a chocolate brownie with ice cream into my mouth??? Then YES. Consider me annoyed. Juuuust kidding. I mean, I obviously love the topic. And it’s also a not-so-secret way for me to help people….which I also love. So, if someone is asking because they are genuinely interested, concerned, etc…then I would love to have a conversation. If you are just trying to get me worked up for the sake of it? Then you’re rude.

Let’s talk life changes. Moving is a big one. So is graduating. What has this season of life taught you? How have you gotten through the hard times? What’s been the best surprise?
Without a doubt, this has been a season of change. My move was really in two parts, with the first one being more “challenging” than then second. Graduation feels like forever ago (I mean, I guess it has been over a year) and the never-ending season of transition has actually seemed to end. I am officially “settling in” and enjoying things at a seemingly slower pace than I have the previous 5 years.

So what have I been taught? That the Lord is my constant companion. That he knows me more than anyone, and that I actually know myself more than I thought. What has gotten me through the “hard times” is mostly this simple realization. When there is no one physically available to laugh/vent/reflect with, my God is always available. No “I’ll call you right backs” or “let’s set up a phone date” –which is super important and necessary in my (newly) long distance friendships. And so, I think the best surprise is that I really CAN be alone! I have doubted this many a time, and so have those closest to me. I love people. I love companionship. I don’t like going too long without another face/voice/opinion. So, I believe the best surprise has been that I really enjoy my own company...and I’ve grown much more comfortable with a constant conversation with my Heavenly Father.

What gets you most fired up right now? (Frustrated/passionate/however you want to read it)
Thank you for putting “right now”…because DUH! That freaking changes every minute! I think it’s amazing actually, the way you react to things…it’s like you have no idea how you feel about something until it happens. I surprise myself because something will strike a chord and there I go!! And then, I look back..and I’m like…wait. Hold on. Was that me? What just happened?

So I guess...what gets me fired up is when I have firsthand experience to some form of oppression. Whether is some inappropriate comment about someone’s weight (usually someone the commenter doesn’t even know) or when people assume someone is too weak (girls are tough too!) or that someone won’t understand (just try!) and when someone is spread super thin...but is continually asked to do “favors.”

Okay that and Toaster Strudel commercials...

Quick! Name a funny memory that always makes you laugh out loud (or LOL, if you will).
Ah! So many! The time Adam tried to scare me and in turn made BC splash orange juice all over his face. Or when you (Sara) and I flew through a field in your car screaming “CYRUS!!” to get to see Tom Moore in character before it was too late. Laughing is something I do quite often, so really this question should be asked about each friend...and I can guarantee I have a laugh out loud memory with every one of my friends. Seriously. Every one of them!

You come from a really close-knit family (that is pretty much my fave). What is one family tradition you want to continue with your own family in the future?
Lake Okoboji! Our family vacation spot since I was two.

Also, my parents always involved my sisters and I in different service projects in the community. It may have looked a little different at different times in our lives...but whether it was delivering meals on wheels after church, or putting together care packages to donate to the homeless…or even serving a holiday meal at a food shelter, they wanted us to become comfortable with serving others, and to understand the importance of giving. Even though it made me nervous to walk up to a stranger’s door to give them a meal (I mean…I was never alone, obviously) I think it made me way more comfortable serving in my adult life.

How would you describe our generation?
I say....we are “cravers.” I mean, I know we love the reference of “The Hero Generation,” and I’m not refuting it…but I’m not sure that I see it consistently among my entire generation. What I do see are people craving more. So whether is the more noble cravings like justice, peace, environmental restoration, etc…..OR perhaps less noble like cravings of success, glamour, pleasure…we’re just not satisfied. So perhaps there can be some hero come out of that...

How would you describe our trip to see the beautiful Sarita get HITCHED?
Umm..WHIRLWIND. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I mourned a little tiny tiny bit…because ya know. I love her. But there was WAY more of me that was completely delighted and amazed. Our dear Sarah has always been a wealth of wisdom and even in those brief moments alone with her, she still taught me so much! I also walked away with a little more knowledge and experience of the world and Central American culture. Chicken bus anyone!?!?

What is your life plan? Just kidding. Where do you see yourself in five years? Kidding again. How are you creating a legacy in your daily life? Just kidding…wait…is that an eye twitch? Haha. Okay but really—final words?
Ahhh! Holy crap! Well two weeks ago this question may have induced dry heaving. (Too much?) But today I am in a place of comfort with these bigger life questions. What’s the difference? Well...I’m officially a Registered Dietitian. No more moments of panic while sitting in a coffee shop, or waking up in the middle of the night because the voice of fear has jarred me awake (I can get a little intense). I also now have a job (at a bariatric clinic in OKC)....so where in five years? Not real sure. But I do know that I will have a credential and some experience. So whether it’s still here in this city, or some more movement has occurred...I now know I have some tangible things under my belt that can allow me to do what I love.

Final words: I love you BFF!!

Thanks, Steph! You are a rockstar. I can't wait to see what is in store for you in Oklahoma. Now, if you'll excuse me, my Toaster Strudel is ready...

9.04.2009

Oh, give thanks.

I woke up this morning and as I shook the cobwebs from my mind, a dull ache set in between my temples.

I stumbled to the bathroom and saw puffy eyes peering back at me as I glanced in my mirror.

I got dressed in a fog, out the door in a haze and despite the cup of liquid crack coffee coursing through my veins, I still felt as though my brain was swaddled in cotton.

Life, as of late, has been busy.

My laundry is oozing out of my closet. My cupboard shelves are bare (sans a tub of frosting, a few packets of oatmeal and a sleeve of Thin Mints DO NOT JUDGE ME). An empty can of Diet Dr. Pepper rattles in my car console. And my office desk is covered in scribbled Post-Its.

And yet, through my bleariness and weariness and oh-my-gosh-I-need-a-weekend-immediately state, I am overcome with thankfulness--

For where I've been. For new beginnings. For the in-between right now...

For a brother who is way cooler than me (except for that time he scribbled all over my Freddie Prinze, Jr. poster but WHATEVER, I AM SO OVER IT). For a mom who would tear up if she knew how much she means to me. For a daddy that will soon get to walk me down the aisle...

For the ring on my finger. For the promise that it holds. For the chance to spend my life with my best friend...

For those who walk with me. Laugh with me. For those that remember me way back when...

For the voices that tell me to keep going, yes, it's worth it and it's okay to cry...

For a big world. For a bigger God. For a hope that though sometimes I am cut down, I will sprout again.

9.03.2009

Approved for the general viewing audience:

1. A creative opportunity to use your talents for the common good (and a rare call to do so without any recognition):



2. An economic opportunity to maximize your dollar and support KC:

3. An entertainment opportunity to tickle your romantic/comedic side:

4. A chuckling opportunity from a witty little jab at iphone-mania: