These days are long-short. Or maybe short-long?
Some moments are slooooooow and minutes tick by and I distract myself with making more lists of things I
probably definitely will not get done
before he is here. And I think, “Will he EVER GET HERE?!” and I impatiently tap
my swelling feet and half-heartedly watch reality TV while wondering if I will
ever, ever fit into that blue pencil
But then…he kicks! And kicks harder! And OMG that is a Braxton Hicks contraction! And things feel a little…different somehow, like people, we are getting somewhere and that means he is COMING and that means he will BE HERE…like forever which I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is about time!!! …but EEK we are not ready not ready not ready…and I awake at 3 a.m. wide-eyed and full of panic and mentally list 5 things we must do today—why haven’t we done that already?!— and I toss and turn as he jabs me in the ribcage. Again.
But then…I am sitting at the doctor’s office and she says, “See that lump above your belly button? That is his bum!” and I instantly melt and think, “HE IS A GENIUS! Isn’t that the most wonderful baby lump you have EVER SEEN?!” and I beam and very ungracefully wiggle off the chair and check my watch and sigh and she says, “See you next week!” and I think well, maybe...but maybe not.