For some, this is a time of grand adventures. World travels. Passionate pursuits. Risk. Grit. An unapologetic existence. The chance to follow one's every whim and chalk it up to "finding oneself"--for better or worse.
For others, this is a time of establishment. Of also "finding oneself"...but within the more rigid parameters of a marriage/child/job/education. And there's sacrifice. And toil. And brute determination to lay the groundwork for the future.
I find myself wavering between the two. Living in the both/and or (probably more accurately) neither/nor. Neither the romance of the Risktaker nor the direction of the Establisher.
I dream of adventures but wake up to a cubicle. I long for stability but abhor feeling stifled.
So, I just keep taking wobbly steps. In this direction or that. Or maybe even in circles. Somehow feeling winded though I feel I've hardly moved.
And it's easy to feel second-rate. And it's easy to make excuses. And it's easy to laugh it off and say Oh who knows...
But in the midst of the soul-searching and dreaming and list-making and day-to-day brush-your-teeth-do-your-laundry-fill-your-gas-tank living, I find myself breathing a bit more deeply these days.
And trying to find some solace in the whoosh of right now.