6.25.2008

Viva la revolution!

It happens to everyone.*

The worst kind of wardrobe malfunction that naturally seems to hit at the most inopportune moment.

As you're just getting out of the car on your first date, for example. Or during your evening jog as you dart across that busy street. Or perhaps-my personal favorite-as you cross the crowded room with all eyes fixed on you.

And so you are forced to evaluate your limited choices, none of which are very promising:
-You can try to grin and bear it (but oh! the discomfort!).
-Or try to [literally] wiggle your way out of it (a feat I have yet to accomplish).
-Or pray for some Divine Intervention (but the odds of Flava-Flav making such a timely appearance are slim-to-none).

Yet what you cannot do--at least not without the fear of social scorn or even worse, having your etiquette likened to that of Ozzy Osbourne (post-bat-biting, but still...is that really saying much?)--is to just go for it. To look everyone squarely in the eye, make your adjustments and say to the world without embarrassment,
"Yes, I DID just fix my wedgie. SO WHAT?!"

And so I ask you, friends, let us rally together. Let us leave our wedgie judgment by the wayside and forever change this ridiculous social stigma. One wedgie at a time.

Who's with me?

*And by everyone, I mean everyone who does not go commando. Which totally grosses me out. I hope this doesn't damage my credibility but seeeeeriously. Ew.

2 comments:

kimberly said...

ha! this is awesome.
I probably told you this already, but one time in college I was walking on campus (between classes, it was quite busy) and a grasshopper the size of a harmonica jumped into my shirt. it not only landed in my short, but in my bra. how this happened, I certainly don't know. but my reaction was not very subtle, and I don't think it went unnoticed by anyone.

AND, on Sunday, I had dinner with my brother and sister-in-law, and we saw something about underweard on AFV. and Scott said "until recently I didn't know that the skinny part of a thong went in the back." I did not realize he was kidding and I reacted rather strongly.

karlie nicole mann. said...

that is totally inspired by me. haha thank you oh so much.