Lots of thoughts running through my head today, some sugary sweet, some downright snarky, to be honest.
There are lots of really mean things I would like to say to some people I have never met, and some topics that lately, if they arise in conversation, I do that smile and nod thing and sometimes even bite the inside of my cheek from exploding.
But more than that, what I really want you to know, what has superseded any and all frustration I have flowing through my jittery body this morning (latte + candy for breakfast = who's shocked?!) is this:
I am so very blessed.
I mean this in a lot of ways and this thought has been hibernating ever since we returned to the States but especially lately, it has become so very apparent to me that I am surrounded by many gifts that I have known existed for quite some time but have a new found appreciation for as of late.
And the biggest one is this: I have the best family in the world. I mean that. I don't say it to make you jealous and I don't doubt that we are all especially crafted for each other and if you feel the same about yours I will support you but silently think mine is better. Just kidding. (Kind of.)
This growing up thing changes things a bit, tweaks my lens enough to see with new clarity or to notice fragments that before have been blurry. And in a simple moment of doing laundry at Mom and Dad's this weekend, I was feeling this new twinge of...well, I guess I'll call it pride.
I'm proud of who I came from. I'm proud of the people I get to spend my life with and the ones I lean on when times get hard. I'm proud of them for making me who I am and I'm proud of who they continue to be. I'm proud of the ones that continue to teach me, to challenge me, to just show me how to make sense of the world that sometimes seems so hard, so unfair, so scary, even, and with little glances at them and blips of conversation, I wonder if they realize how much they shape me and how I hope that one day I can be more like them.
And it's funny because though we show our love in our family by doing things--Dad taking off work to fix my car, Mom never sitting down when we're over because she's always serving someone, Brian moving my fifty million boxes every freaking time I had to move without complaining--we aren't always the best at saying it.
And I guess today I just wanted to tell everyone, and them at the same time, hey, you guys, I love you.
And thank you.
(And next Easter please don't let me eat so much.)