Teeter, totter.

I am learning some things about balance lately. I am realizing that things won't ever be easier. That each season has its own challenges. That there really is no time like the present.

I am realizing that my priorities are changing. I can see that I am not who I was just a few years ago and that is okay. In fact, I am learning that it is more than okay.

I am fighting that same internal battle of perfectionism, but I am calling it out now and mercifully, finally listening to the voices around me that tell me I am doing a good job. Even if it doesn't look neat and clean. I am trying to let go more often.

I am failing sometimes. I am trying to be excited about that, because it means I am trying. This is hard for me.

I am trying to make time for what matters and make time count. I am always feeling like I haven't quite figured out how to do that. I am trying to give myself more grace.

I am giving thanks more often. Even if it's for our dumb ol' air mattress that is in the middle of my living room and TOTALLY CRAMPING MY STYLE. I am thankful for a warm place to rest my head during these cold winter days. I am thankful for a night home with my husband when I attempt "healthy cookies" (HA, HA) even when they turn out all weird and funky-textured and I throw my last bite in the trash. And though I've had more sick days this year than ever (truly, ever!) before, I am thankful for that phone call from home "just callin' to check in" because they let me whine my sorrows away and don't tell me to suck it up.

I am just dancing along, sometimes grabbing onto Adam for balance, but mostly just holding his hand.

It's a good year.


kimberly said...

oh.. I can so relate to this sara. I am SO not who I was a few years ago....I am learning a lot about myself, and thankful for where I am....I have so much to reflect on this...

Sara said...

Kim--it's so bizarre how instead of thinking "oh, this means I'm growing!", my initial tendency is to feel guilty (I'm not as fun as I was back then, etc.). Sometimes I just want to shake my fist at my brain. :) I wonder what Donald Miller would say...