Clownfish and sea anemones


Sure, they can be sources of thumping headaches and unbridled fury at times, but like I've said before, they are often the key to surviving the daily grind.

In fact, I'm becoming more and more convinced that one's interactions with fellow keepers-of-the-crappy-coffee pot should resemble a symbiotic relationship of sorts.

For example, they smile and nod as I rattle on about how they will not beLIEVE how close to death I was while attempting to cross the street because of the nerve--the NERVE!--of arrogant city drivers and their blatant refusal to stop at pedestrian CROSSWALKS for crying out loud...and--would you believe it?--that after risking life and limb, the bookstore DIDN'T EVEN CARRY Sweet Cinnamon Stride gum, which was the whole point of the journey away from the glaring fluorescent cubicle lights to begin with!

In return, I let them borrow my stapler (hey, it's office GOLD people) and even squeak out an "ooh" and "aahh" over their favorite cat website (while secretly seeing nothing but pure evil in those beady little feline eyes).

At any rate, I've been collecting tidbits of such cubicle conversations that I cannot help but share. Best enjoyed while nibbling on day-old donuts snuck from the conference room and slurping lukewarm coffee with no less than fourteen packets of Splenda added out of pure necessity.

Say Whaaaaaaaaat?

1. "So, Sara, not to bring up a sore subject, but how tall are you?"
Funny...I didn't know it was a sore subject...but 5'8 and 3/4 if you' d really like to know. I can't help it that sometimes I want to wear heels, okay?!

2. "What I really want to know is what the government did with the millions of dollars they invested in Frisbees back in 'Nam!"
Don't we all...don't we all...(??!)

3. "Spiff!"
Spiff (adj.): To describe something in an appreciative way.
Synonyms: Cool. Sweet. Awesome.
Example: "That's spiff!"

4. "That really cheeses me off!"
Said with a scowl and shaking of the fist.

5. "Sarcasm is unbecoming..."
Said in a very disapproving tone after someone rattles off an obviously-unappreciated quip (often that someone happens to be yours truly). Makes a girl feel really good about herself.


luke said...

haha. loved the cat line.

rachel rianne said...

your blog is hilarious.
i loved every bit of it.

now that i work in an office, i get time to check out your blog. so maybe sometime mine will be as cool as yours.

KK said...

you make me laugh so much.
and i would hate to hear what they would have to say in regards to my height if i came by.

i think you should publish a book sometime.
think about it.