6.06.2008

Don't close your eyes

We have the idea that God is going to do some exceptional thing, that He is preparing and fitting us for some extraordinary thing by and by, but as we go on in grace we find that God is glorifying Himself here and now, in the present minute.
-Oswald Chambers

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I am carving out a space of my own. Unpacking those forgotten boxes. Storing away my suitcase. Settling in.

I have a routine, even, and places around town that are beginning to feel like mine. A coffee shop, a walking trail, a local pizza place, a church pew.

And it's not terribly exciting and it certainly doesn't align with my romantic notions of life as a twentysomething. But as simple as it may be, it is mine and generally, I am--dare I say?--content.

But just as I begin to let my guard down and catch my breath, it finds me.

Doubt.

That sneaky, snarky, shameless, spineless, oh-so-pervasive menace to the human spirit. Its whisper tickles my eardrum with maddeningly inescapable questions to which I have no solid answer.

Gleefully, it watches as my confidence unravels and my certainty disappears, and I am left clinging to my one and only defense against total and utter despair.

Hope.

In the unknown. In the fuzzy and unfamiliar. In the purpose of the present moment--no matter how messy or mundane.

May we continually remind each other to live each day with open eyes. And be that voice of hope for those who have lost it.

2 comments:

lauren h. said...

i love this miss sara. what a good reminder for us...from your own experiences. i needed to read this.
and i'm going to see you for lunch in 1.5 hours. hooray!

rachel rianne said...

i want those things!
coffee, trails, churches...
:(
you're beautiful, sara.
never doubt that.
i love you.
never doubt that either.