I'm realizing more and more that there are several life skills I assumed I would just somehow have mastered by the time I was a twentysomething.
Like cooking, for example, despite the fact that I only ever stepped foot in the kitchen to follow my mom's DIRECT ORDERS when forced in high school and occasionally, to make brownies (from a box) or cookies (the break-away-pre-mixed kind). Oh, and puppy chow. Because I am diverse like that.
I cooked a tad more in college but before my roommates out me, NOT THAT MUCH I ASSURE YOU, and despite using good ol' George now and then (and assembling a lot of turkey sandwiches),I haven't exactly acquired culinary skills.
As in, at all.
And now I'm almost four months into marriage and I don't know why and I know it's a tad (okay, completely) irrational, but I just kind of figured poof! I would be immediately awesome and Rachel Ray-like and when someone would ask for my recipe I would just smile and say sweetly, "Oh, that? I just kind of threw it together." And move on to world domination. Or something.
But the thing is (spoiler alert!), LIFE TOTALLY DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.
There are days when I follow a recipe and it is pretty awesome.
There are days my husband really does throw something together and it is awesome.
There are days when I improvise a little and it's so-so.
And there are days when dammit, I burned the freaking cookies and suddenly I'm crying like an idiot and thinking I am a total failure at life and wondering how can I be twenty-five years old and FORGET THE BAKING SODA?! NORMAL PEOPLE DO NOT DO THAT!
And I have to take a deep breath and remember when I was 9 years old and tearfully showing my dad that I got a B on my math test. Because it was over decimals! And who understands decimals?! But I'm Sara-freaking-Shellenberger and I DO NOT GET Bs ON MATH TESTS!
And my Dad just looked at me, shocked.
Not at my stupid grade.
But at his blubbering, frizzy-haired, crooked-teeth daughter who is um totally losing it and he just said, "Hey, kiddo, you can't be the best at everything."
And it's weird, you know?
To think of all the things my Dad has told me and this is one of the most vivid. Something he said off the cuff and didn't follow with a lecture or launch into a story from years ago or even ever bring up again.
But it's something I still hear to this day.
Even when I don't always want to believe it.