I spy with my little eye...

The scene: Saturday morning, before the sun is up. I awake with a start to a strange pop-pop-pop noise. Naturally, I dash to our kitchen door to peer at the parking lot. Nothing. I return to bed with a fussy sigh, waking up Adam. I report the noise. He takes a look around.

The rising action: Pop-pop-pop! There it is again! This time, from the street outside our bedroom window! Sneakily, I peek out of a smidgen of space in the blinds. I see a white SUV! With their headlights on! My heart rate skyrockets.

Adam! I hiss. But before I can even report my finding, the overhead light turns on in the car! I lean in closer.

The climax: Without warning, I witness a burst of flurried activity. The driver (who is alone) begins exceedingly fast hand gestures. (Car dancing? I wonder. Drug-induced behavior? Who can really tell?!)

And then the frenzied driver begins digging in...what's that? A bag!? Full of...unidentified items?! Could it be I am watching our neighborhood catalytic converter thief IN ACTION?!

ADAM! I hiss frantically. Get.IN.HERE! HURRY!

And just as he is hurrying through the doorway, the car door opens.

The driver snatches one of the bagged objects and steps out. I hold my breath, one hand reaching for my phone.

And together, we watch as the middle-aged, apron-wearing woman carries a roll of toilet paper with her as she walks into work.

Honest mistake.

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